All my life I've suffered from a fear of heights and it bugs the hell out of me. It has reared its ugly head when I'm on balconies, scuba diving against walls with large drops beneath them or even on planes (which could be a different phobia). I can't explain why I have this fear so I can't justify it. It's the irrational side of me that I can't control.

Sitting on the U-BAHN, on my way to Prenzlauer Berg, I look at Berlin's city skyline and I can feel the history of this city. Its communist legacy is very much evident in the architecture passing in front of me. Alone on the train, I sit nervously as my thoughts drift to my current situation. My head's filled with questions:

"What have I done? "

"How could I quit my job and life and go on this trip with no plan?"

My mind goes blank. I don't remember the reasons for blowing up my life, but I'm sure they must've been good.